Hearing the Heartbeat
by SonYukiGoku'sSister
Summary: Gwendal listens to Conrad's fear, one stormy night. Sequel to 'Conrad's Lullaby'. With Hannah Montana's 'Butterfly Fly Away' Lyrics


Butterfly Fly Away

It rained again.

Yuri had gone back to Earth and Conrad was safe in Covenant Castle, free of all charges and pardoned for his acts as well as sharing his burden. If the Shinou was as fickle as Geika had mentioned, Gwendal will have to watch his steps.

One thing Gwendal could not understand was why sleep refused him again. Everyone was happy: Conrad had healed fully, Wolfram was calling him by his name, Greta and Lady Celi were happy, Yuri was happy, Gunter got his student back, Gwendal himself was relieved... so why? He should relax more easily now, knowing Conrad had not betrayed them at all. Why could he not sleep?

Gwendal felt a tug in his heart, and thought he heard something. It was a throbbing sound... like a heart... only it was not his own.

He sighed and gave up the notion of sleeping. Something, _or someone_, was calling him silently again. Who was he, the guardian? Well... to the king, yes, but someone else in the castle? Why him of all people? He was not a healer...

_But_, he was a brother... It was as if Dan Hiri, who defeated him in a sword fight, was pointing out to him that he had a responsibility as the eldest.

_**You tucked me in  
**__**Turned out the light**_

Gwendal sighed again. There are times when he hated being the eldest, you would if you had two younger siblings who were as impulsive as you were. There are times when it was nothing but trouble. King Yuri's contribution was not helping in the least.

_**Kept me safe and sound at night  
**__**Little girls depend on things like that**_

He got out of bed and threw on his quilted robe. No one had the brains to go out at this time of night in uniform, not even the night guards. Something was telling him to go towards the terrace where he had found Wolfram near tears several weeks before.

_**Brushed my teeth and combed my hair**_

Grumbling, he went towards the terrace. A rare sight met his eyes upon the bench where he sat with Wolfram not too long ago.

_**Had to drive me every where**_

Conrad was on the bench, a blanket draped around him. He shivered every time it thundered.

_**You were always there when I looked back  
**_

Gwendal sat next to him quietly. Conrad was well aware of his presence and did not say anything. In fact he had expected a lecture from Gwendal. It was minutes before the elder brother decided to break the silence.

**_You had to do it all alone_**

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Gwendal asked bluntly, "Your godson's not going to be happy if he came home to find you with a fever."

_**Make a living, make a home**_

Conrad did not look at him; instead, he just stared out into the rain. His brown eyes focussing on something that was not there. The last time Gwendal saw that look in his brown eyes, Julia passed away.

_**Must have been as hard as it could be**_

"It's funny," Conrad finally answered, "I haven't been able to sleep peacefully since..." Gwendal waited as his brother swallowed a lump. Conrad gripped his left arm. "Since my arm was sliced off..." he finished quietly.

_**And when I couldn't sleep at night**_

"You want to tell me what happened that night?" asked Gwendal.

Conrad shivered.

"It's hard..." the younger man murmured. Gwendal thought he heard a hint of fear in Conrad's voice. His blue eyes softened.

_**Scared things wouldn't turn out right**_

"Holding it inside will only make it harder," he murmured, putting a reassuring arm around his little brother.

_**You would hold my hand and sing to me**_

Conrad looked at his older brother. It was never easy for him to be the middle child. Especially after Wolfram found out he was half-human. It had not been easy for him due to prejudice as well. Not even Lady Celi's love and protection was able to protect him from the fire of racial hatred. Looking into those sad brown eyes, Gwendal berated himself for not protecting Conrad when he should have done so.

If Yuri was here, he would have said, "What is done, is done... use the time you have now to make up for it if you can. He's still your brother..."

"That night was dangerous," Conrad began, "His majesty was not called here by the Shinou. Gunter and I thought it would be safe to bring Greta along since his majesty...

"Just call him Yuri," Gwendal interrupted gently, "No one's here to hear his name." Conrad nodded. "Yuri was forced to leave in a bit of a hurry last time. We didn't think the enemy would move in so quickly and wanted to send Yuri back to Earth via cathedral when we were ambushed." Conrad stopped from a moment before taking in a shuddering breath images flashing before his eyes, "Gunter was shot. I thought he died because he was shot in the left sternum and wouldn't wake." Gwendal nodded, thinking that his teacher was dead, the one person apart from Julia to recognise him for who he is was a very heavy blow upon his brother.

_**Caterpillar in the tree**_

Conrad may not know it, but Gunter and Gwendal had unwittingly taken upon themselves to protect both him and Wolfram. In a way, Gwendal fathered Wolfram, where Gunter fathered Conrad. The middle brother heaved a heavy sigh, and continued, "We ran to the cathedral, his majesty was protecting Greta where I tried to hold off the enemy.

"Once we reached the cathedral, Yuri hid Greta and spattered water over the picture," Conrad took in a slow breath, "I had every intention of getting Greta out of there when balls of fire blasted the door open. They were heading towards Yuri, I had to fight..." Conrad clutched his arm then, "Then my arm was cut off." Conrad paused for several moments, staring out into the rain. Gwendal could actually feel his brother shivering, but not from the cold night air. "I have nightmares about it now and then," Conrad continued, "Every time I felt the pain, I find myself in bed again."

Silence.

"There's something else," Gwendal stated, knowing how well Conrad hid his fears.

_**How you wonder who you'll be**_

"I don't want to hurt him again..." Conrad murmured and Gwendal knew full well whom his brother was referring to; he knew of the mission Shinou gave to Conrad in order to help Yuri create a world of peace. "What if protecting him meant to do something that would hurt him?"

"He would keep on trusting you even when the world ends," Gwendal told him.

_**Can't go far but you can always dream**_

Conrad shook his head, "You didn't see the way he looked at me at the tournament, Gwen. It was the exact same look Wolf had when he found out I was half human." Gwendal was about to remind Conrad that he had not seen Wolfram's reaction about the event but from the look on Conrad's face, it was better not to. Both memories were painful, one he could not control where the other he did out of love.

_**Wish you may and wish you might**_

Gwendal remembered the time he decided to go to the village where Yosak was, and asked Conrad if he wanted to visit his father.

"_I don't want to visit him," Conrad said through his un-shed tears. He walked quietly out of the room. Gwendal never felt more like a murderer than he did then. The name Dan Hiri had been a taboo around Conrad. Gwendal understood why. When he went to the stables later, he was surprised to find Conrart saddling his own roan._

"_Conrart?"_

"_I want to see Yosak," Conrad said simply._

_Gwendal just sighed and said, "Do what you want."_

_They stopped to rest for the night, Gwendal lit the fire as Conrad went to catch fish. Gwendal looked at his brother and shook his head, Conrad was never one who was afraid to get his clothes dirty. There was a splash and a cry of triumph, Gwendal allowed his lips to twitch slightly as he looked to find his brother tackling his prize._

_Later at bedtime, as Gwendal pulled out a blanket, he felt a weight against his side. He looked to find Conrart curled up in a ball shivering._

_Apparently, his little brother had forgotten to pack a blanket._

_**Don't you worry, hold on tight**_

_Gwendal sighed as he cradled Conrart's head on his lap and put his own blanket around himself and the boy, murmuring affectionately, "Stubborn mule."._

_**I promise you there will come a day**_

"_Am not a mule..." Conrart muttered in his sleep as he snuggled closer._

"In Francia," Gwendal answered, "He said he would not suspect anyone." Conrad's eyes widened. "At least that's what I heard," he shrugged, "And Wolfram..." he thought about that day, when he put the button in Wolfram's hand telling the baby, _"Wolfram, don't be like me."_

"I could have sworn his heart broke, crying for you like that." Conrad cringed, Dai Shimarron was the last place he thought Wolfram would address him as brother. To have Wolfram finally calling him by name and not by formality was what he wanted for quite a long time... but not in anger. It had hurt... he had hurt people who were precious to him...

_**Butterfly fly away**_

Conrad shook his head. "Something else?" Gwendal queried, surprised they were not nearly as finished with this conversation as they had thought

"Greta..." came a scarcely audible murmur.

Gwendal understood. Conrad had left her when she needed him most. He was self-blaming it all. Not only had he hurt Yuri and Wolfram, he had scared Greta as well.

_**Got your wings now you can't stay**_

"I don't really remember what happened after I thought I died," Conrad murmured, pressing himself into Gwendal's strong arms, "but I didn't know what to do. The attackers were heading towards Yuri, there was fire everywhere. I wanted to get Greta out of there but then Yuri would have been killed. I just didn't know what to do."

Gwendal mulled over this matter for a bit, then he squeezed his brother's shoulder and said, "I can't say what you did was the right thing, but," Conrad looked towards him, "it definitely was not the wrong thing."

Brown eyes widened.

_**Take those dreams and make them all come true**_

"Our niece may still be a child, but she's stronger than she looks," Gwendal continued. "And many would be sad if Yuri died. The first thing we must do for those we care is to answer them."

Conrad looked away, his shoulders shook.

Gwendal did not let go, he guided Conrad to face him. Conrad buried his face on his shoulder, trying his best not to cry. His arms slowly, and willingly snaked around his elder brother seeking comfort.

_**Butterfly fly away(butterfly fly away)**_

He clung to Gwendal, clearly afraid. Gwendal allowed his arm to rub Conrad's back, telling him he was safe.

"Thanks Gwen," he murmured.

_**You've been waiting for this day**_

Gwendal just grunted. They stayed in that position for a really long time.

A weight against his shoulder interrupted his train of thought, hands fell from their clinging position. Gwendal looked down to find Conrad leaning heavily against him.

"Oi," he murmured, gently shaking his brother, "Daijoubu ka?" When he did not receive an answer Gwendal squinted into the semi-darkness to find Conrad's eyes closed. He was asleep.

_**All along and known just what to do**_

He could see dark rings encircling his brother's eyes. "You really haven't been sleeping well, have you?" Gwendal murmured, brushing back loose brown hair from Conrad's face, "Baka kuma hachi..." Gwendal knew full well Conrad often pushed himself to the limit. He was like that even after the war twenty years before. Sometimes getting out of bed before he was even strong enough to walk, despite Gisela's advice.

What Gwendal had found rather bewildering was how Conrad had managed to find his smile again after his return from Earth. A smile he had not seen in decades.

'Just this once...' Gwendal thought gruffly as he picked up Conrad and walked to his room, finally feeling a slight of the sleep he had been waiting for this night.

_**Butterfly**_

Rain drummed against the window pane as he brought his brother in. Conrad shivered slightly as it thundered. Gwendal lay him on the bed and closed the curtains. Then he turned his attention to his brother.

On the bed, he rested Conrad's head on his lap and covered him with his own blanket.

_**Butterfly**_

"Stubborn mule..." he murmured with affection.

"Am not... a stubborn... mule..." Conrad muttered in his sleep. Gwendal just shook his head and smiled.

He remembered the heartbeat he had heard only minutes before... now he knew who it belonged to.

_**Butterfly, fly away**_


End file.
